It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
