I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
