My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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