I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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