she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
