One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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