Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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