i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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