Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
