My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
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