Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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