Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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