He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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