I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize