I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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