He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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