Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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