I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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