Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
