I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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