he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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