I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize