So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
