Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize