Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize