Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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  (301): Dude my mom stole all your condoms http://tfl.nu/kyrw
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (1412)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.

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  (518): Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/f3k6
  Replies (14) Good night (2766) Bad night (689)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.

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  (602): im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child. http://tfl.nu/zwuo
  Replies (16) Good night (1823) Bad night (4041)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (740) Bad night (4689)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.

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  (719): I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere. http://tfl.nu/w0w9
  Replies (11) Good night (3615) Bad night (613)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair

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  (985): And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair http://tfl.nu/0fee
  Replies (16) Good night (6459) Bad night (975)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.

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  (412): I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/4998
  Replies (41) Good night (1360) Bad night (4466)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?

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  (256): Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!? http://tfl.nu/t31p
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (2517)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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  (803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr
  Replies (16) Good night (1134) Bad night (2343)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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  (781): Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever http://tfl.nu/l0sc
  Replies (7) Good night (2212) Bad night (1061)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.

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  (636): I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB. (636): I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE. http://tfl.nu/x3bf
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (2005)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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  (706): He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake http://tfl.nu/0u2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1100) Bad night (465)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.

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  (763): It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award. http://tfl.nu/a9wc
  Replies (3) Good night (987) Bad night (1074)
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  (669): View more from California

  And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach

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  (669): And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach http://tfl.nu/x5nk
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (495)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"

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  (314): She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!" http://tfl.nu/o6vj
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (398)

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