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• (419): View more from Ohio

  So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous

  (269): View more from Michigan

  If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...

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