Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it