Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
