Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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