you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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