if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
