I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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