i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize