What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize