Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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