I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i out mim tonsoeep
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