My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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