He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
