her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize