I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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