I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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