I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.