his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks