I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.