I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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