So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just pynch a tree in the face
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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