Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize