Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
pray to the hookup gods
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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