remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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