So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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