college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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