Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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