I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
