She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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